If where you are is much like where I am, it doesn’t seem much like springtime. And it isn’t — we’re still in the middle of winter. So what’s up with that title for this post?

Because I want to introduce my own little piece of springtime to you all — my April Ruby! Born Thanksgiving Day, April is our own little piece of spring — a sweet new life, and a sweet new season.

And as always, with changing seasons come changing priorities and changing goals.

I know two specific things: 1. I will always be a writer, and 2. What that looks like will always be changing. In the past year of being a mom, I’ve come to embrace the second fact without letting go of the first fact. It’s why it took me two years to get Firmament: No Man released, and why I am not letting myself set many clear writing goals for this new year. I have a novella anthology I’m participating in, and I’m definitely going to work on the next Firmament book, but I don’t want to make promises about when it will be released, because this season — this springtime in my life — is highly unpredictable.

Just now as I sat writing this post, Violet came to me with an eager expression holding the same book we have read fifteen times this morning alone (Time for Tom, by Phil Vischer). She is always wanting me to read to her. And sometimes I can’t, and I tell her so. But this time, I was about to tell her “no,” but the excitement in her eyes just got to my Mama heart, and so we read it (“It’s time for Tom to make his bed, and fluff the pillow that holds his head, and smooth the sheet with the purple thread…“).

Also as I write this post, April is in the bouncy seat and I have to stop every few sentences and give it a bounce to keep her happy.

Coming to reconcile all these roles… wife, mother, writer, not to mention trying to be a friend and stay healthy and keep the house running relatively smoothly… is not only not easy, but it keeps changing. Not easy for me, the one who hates change. But I’m learning to embrace it. Emphasis on “learning,” because I really haven’t finished learning it yet.

It’s important to me that I don’t let writing every get in the way of these other roles — of serving my family and loving and caring for my girls. But it’s also important to me not to let writing go entirely. And that tension is a constant journey. Maybe that’s why I haven’t finished learning it yet. Maybe I never really will?

So yes, I’m writing. I’m working on Firmament. The word God gave me to focus on this year is “rest.” Not physical rest (although sometimes that too) as much as spiritual rest. Rest in His will. Rest from trying to make sure I do all the things perfectly all the time. Instead, in this spring season, He keeps asking me to stop asking myself whether I’m doing everything perfectly or everything I possibly can, and instead ask myself whether I’m doing what He wants me to in this moment. Because what I think is important and what He thinks is important, unfortunately, don’t always coincide. Making them agree by bringing my priorities into alignment with His, is what I mean by “rest.”

I’m keeping up this blog. It’s just going to look different. It’s going to be a little crazier and a little less driven by specific goals and deadlines. Not forever, at least I don’t think so — but for now. Because here, in this season, the rest for my soul is to be in the center of God’s calling, whatever that looks like, day by day.

And I think it’s going to be an absolutely beautiful spring.