Sometimes I’m amazed how easy it is to lose focus on what’s important so quickly.

For a Bible study we’re doing at church, we had to read a piece called “The Tyranny of the Urgent.” It contrasted the “urgent” things in our lives with the important things. I already knew all about this. I knew that good doesn’t always mean best. I knew the importance of saying no and keeping to your goals.

And still I drift.

I haven’t worked on any of my books in months. The furthest I’ve gotten on the book I wanted to publish this spring is to get the printed manuscript ready for marking. Which involved setting up my printer again after the move, prepping the document, printing three quarters of it, running out of ink, forgetting to get ink my next two store visits, finally getting some, letting the new ink sit on my desk for a few days, installing it, printing the rest, waiting a few more days to go to Office Max and buy a three-hole punch and more red pencils, then finally punching the pages and putting them in a binder yesterday.

Now the binder is prepped. My red pencil is sharpened. The release date is getting pushed further and further back.

What else am I doing? Despite pregnancy and all the aches and discomforts and weariness it brings, I’m not just sitting around reading birthing books (something else I really should make time for). And I’m not only doing things like housework and grocery shopping and church activities, all necessities.

No, I could keep house and write and then use my spare time for Bible study and rest and reading. In fact, that would be my dream life. That would be sticking to the calling I believe God has for me. But it’s so easy to get distracted, and so hard to say no.

Somewhere along the line, I got mired in trying to do all the things that were urgent instead of the things that were important. And in my case, that is mostly encompassed by audiobook production. I started it as a way to bring in extra income, and it has. I enjoy about half of the process, though the other half stresses me out. I’ve known for awhile that it was taking away from other things that I needed to do, that I needed to back off, and I haven’t done it. Because I keep getting offers, and I know each one would be a (mostly) fun experience and better yet bring in a little extra income.

But it is stressful. And in the urgency of knocking those projects out, I’m losing the creation of my own stories.

My husband has been telling me for awhile that I should give up audiobooks, or only do one or two a year. Because it is something I enjoy, but it’s not something I should be spending all my time on. But the urgency kept holding me back–the call for more money and to say yes to any opportunity that came my way.

But seeing my poor manuscript sitting there, half printed, unused for weeks, finally drove the point home. Audiobooks may be urgent right now–or they may feel urgent–but my writing is important to me. My home and my health and my husband are important to me.

I know I’ve been harping on priorities and expectations for awhile now, but this–this is specific. This is me coming clean to all of you–my official resignation from the job of “audiobook producer.” I’m currently finishing up the last few that I’m contracted for, and then I’ve already told my clients that after that I won’t do more than one or two a year, and if they need them faster than that, I understand that they will need to choose someone else.

Why is that so hard? Why is it so difficult to say “no” to the stress and say “yes” to the work that I find so much more fulfilling?

The tyranny of the urgent.

But I’m finally getting to the point where I am no longer willing to give up what I want most for what pressures me in the moment. I’m ready to commit to stepping back and narrowing my focus again. I’m ready to have the life that’s best for me, not a life dictated by things I allow to control me that shouldn’t.

So goodbye, audiobooks. It’s been fun. But it’s time to step away and move towards what’s more important for now.